I did warn you that I would fall off the blogging wagon here early on so you knew to expect it…but here I am again.
Some days I get so tired of everything sucking that I can’t stand to hear myself think never mind carry on a conversation about how ridiculous this or that is. I’m tired of myself, I can’t imagine how anyone could stand being around me right now. Yet, I am surrounded by humans who constantly show up for me and for that I am eternally grateful.
This last week was epic on the suck o meter. I struggled, hard. Had a bit of a nervous breakdown on Wednesday last week and tried to pull it back together from there. Some days I wake up thinking what is the fucking point, other days I muscle through and put on an appearance of calm and pull off that I’ve got my shit together air of confidence. All of it is exhausting.
One month into this Brighton Beach situation and we still don’t have the basics down. No one can figure out how to reorder her O2 tanks and get them delivered, her monthly b-12 shot is now overdue and I am getting insurance claims denied because I don’t have a PCP name to give the insurance yet. It’s all bullshit and this is the top award winning facility… imagine if we were at another place?! Three emails and phone calls yesterday on top of last weeks ridiculous odyssey of 3 hours on the phone with the insurance where THEY called to get the PCP information and was told they don’t have it while working through the claim denial from the previous rehab facility because they didn’t get prior authorizations makes my head spin.
Can we talk finances…as mentioned before I’ve got big shoes to fill and spreadsheets to manage. I am holding my own on this front but I am in a constant panic waiting for the other shoe to drop. LTC informed me the exclusion period ends in May but the first payment won’t come until end of June. Thanks, the bill is due on the first of the month so not only do I need to pay the 90 days out of pocket but I get the honor of pre paying the first month of coverage so I need to add that into my budgeting…. surprise! That is not how it was previously communicated.
With regard to my own life I’ve managed to get a handle on things a bit but without an income things are tighter than a slingshot. I’ll leave it at that. But if you are interested I am a Pampered Chef consultant and am hoping I can book a few parties and make some sales to help keep the internet on. Use the link or pop me a note to kerryQuade@gmail.com
exhale.
Hero of the week last week goes to the insurance person I spoke with last week… her perseverance to help me figure out the quagmire of claims was impressive. She went the extra mile, investigated, made the calls and tried her best to help me sort it all out. Hats off to her and I thanked her profusely. We did not come to any resolutions but she move the needle and did it with empathy and kindness. Some days that is all it takes.
Also shout out to my girl posse. I would be lost without each and every one of you. Some of you are going through or have one through similar experiences. It sucks and we don’t talk about elder care enough as a society. I mean the real deal not the sugar coated BS that is out there. It’s hard. It’s emotional. It’s exhausting. There are laughs and tears every day. Sometimes hearing one little sentence is like finding the missing puzzle piece. Coffee with E this week did that for me. She talked about her own elder situation. I could totally relate and all I could think was she gets it, she totally gets it. To know you are not alone is massive. Especially when you are a single, unmarried, childless, only child.
Lessons Learned:
Have multiple copies of the POA both hard copy and digital. EVERYONE is going to need this on file. Having a digital copy will make things SO much easier.
Grandpa always said the squeaky wheel gets the grease and he wasn’t wrong. Say what you need…. and say it again and again. You are the best advocate for yourself and your loved one.
It’s ok to not be ok. This sucks.
You are not alone. We need to talk more openly about the messy parts of life.
Minding Mom. 