Long goodbyes….

are one of my least favorite things.

It’s been a whirlwind today as I have been preparing to go back home for a few weeks. Setting mom and Stanley up for success has been my goal and I think I’ve done all I can do at this point. I love that pets are allowed and there is a resident dog and bird on the main floor.

She’s having a visit from some northern family tomorrow so she won’t even notice I’m off on a plane really… the day will pass by quickly between visiting and PT and OT, meals and the dog walker coming and going with Stanley.

Mom was pretty. much a hermit pre covid so she was well prepared for isolation and the pandemic only solidified her hermit status so being in this environment is taxing for her and she tires quickly with all the peopling. I think the hubbub is good for her.

I am a bit nervous to go, but also SO looking forward to being in my own home, around some familiar faces and sleeping in my own bed. I’ll be hopping up to Willow to pick up cookie and see the sled dogs while I am back and I cannot wait! The spring snow is epic again this year and I am stoked to have a few last romps around the trails.

Mom used to drive me to the airport and want to sit together until the last minutes that I could make it through the security line and to the gate for boarding. It drove me mad. I’ve never been one for long goodbyes. Today I felt myself lingering as I said goodbye before I left for the day. I gave her a hug and she said ‘I know this is all a lot of work’. “I want you to go but I also want you to stay”. She called me after dinner to say goodnight.

Although she’s always been the one for the long goodbyes she has always been my biggest cheerleader heading off to wherever for yet another adventure. When I decided to move to Alaska it was her encouragement that put the wheels in motion. This is probably the second time she has said she is wanting me close by. The first time was the last time I was in Alaska a couple of weeks ago and I got the “I need you but I don’t” These are the moments that rattle me. Her once stoic and I’m fine, nothing to see here New Englandness is showing cracks.

She asked me to call in the morning, but the reality is she will be up early and call me first. If I was a betting gal I would put money on it.

Goodbye. until we meet again in Alaska.