& don’t ask questions. Tempting fate… after my marathon of adulting and getting mom’s things in order.
Sidebar: My mother is meticulous, worked as a bookkeeping and medical claims coordinator for a dental practice ( i.e. background in finance and keeping diligent books ), has lived alone since I left the house at 17 and is one of those people for whom a hair isn’t out of place when it comes to adulting. I don’t think she’s ever paid an extra fee on anything and the only ticket she’s gotten was when she was pulled over following the ambulance with her own mother in it to the hospital. Yes, they still gave her the ticket.
The pressure of keeping up here “systems” is immense. I am not meticulous, a bit of a free spirit, live an interesting life and have never really ‘rooted down’ anywhere until I landed in Alaska and well, I’m as rooted as much as I will be most likely. All in all I think I am doing a decent job of keeping the lights on, mom well cared for but my own adulting is lagging a bit and that is my focus today… catching up a bit. It’s also the end of the month. Somehow this turned into a diatribe on finances and adulting… when really my intention was to write about my visit with mom yesterday.
That’s going to happen… I am going to side bar, get distracted, start with a topic and take a winding road until it comes around full circle. Remember, I’m a free spirit. (insert wink) You’ll also love my stream of conscious style of writing or it will drive you mad. Either way…thanks for being here.
So, yesterday post adulting I went over to visit with mom. We had a great time, laughed until we were crying and it was one of those serendipitous days that nothing else mattered. We share the same odd sense of humor that runs dark, we call each other out on our bullshit ( oh, yeah… if you aren’t keen on cursing this journal isn’t for you. I inherited the sailor’s mouth from my father apparently ) and she is trying really hard to turn the reigns over and I know that must be uncomfortable for her… some days she’s ok with it and she’ll answer someone’s question with it’s up to her she’s running the show now.
We are here every day…. two drink minimum. Don’t be late.
Throughout my life my mother has not talked much about her life before me. I am not sure that I know who my mother is as a human and I don’t think she really understands me all that much either. I have a lot of my fathers wanderlust and free spiritedness and frankly, I think its freaked her out a bit my whole life. These days snippets are coming out, she’s speaking freely about days gone by. It may be the way the brain is working post stroke or as we hit the end of life stage perhaps it all comes back. Though her short term memory sucks, she was recalling being 20 yesterday as she talked about getting out of the house, her wedding and her siblings when they were young. My mother is the second oldest of 5 and oldest girl. Family dynamics, that is a whole other series of posts.
But until then, we’ll take the good days when we get them. Enjoy the laughs and cherish the stories told.
Minding Mom. 